Saturday, April 1, 2017

Mea Culpa.

Unfortunately, atsec has been accused of distributing fake news.

Here at atsec we take such an accusation seriously. We have performed a thorough internal investigation and have determined that the accusation is true. atsec has been guilty of disseminating fake news on an annual basis for the last fifteen years.

We have followed our internal ISO 9001 and ISO/IEC 27001 conformant procedures, and determined a root cause of the issue.
  •  This issue is traditional and widespread. The production of fake news on an annual basis can be traced back as far as 1392, when the first identified written documentation of an annual fake news article was recorded by a Mr. Geoffrey Chaucer.
  •  Further research has shown that the practice can be traced back to the Roman and Ancient Greek eras. These civilizations celebrated The Hilaria around the time of the March equinox and this included abstinence form eating pomegranates during this time.
  •  Considering atsec’s diversity we identified that the Italians, Germans, Swedes, French, Latvians, Indians, Chinese, Polish, Vietnamese, British, Mexicans, and Argentinians are all taught at an early age the art of providing fake news on an annual basis. 
As additional input, we note that:
  •  atsec China since last year is subject to local restrictions on this matter, however this practice has been widespread in China in the past.
  •  Germany is considering legislating on this practice .
In consideration of this the following improvements and additional controls are being implemented within atsec and will be strictly enforced.
  1. atsec management team will assess the merits of introducing a policy in regard to the production of fake news during the Spring equinox period. Possibly implementing a “no fake-news” policy, enhancing our current internal policies for fake news review. 
  2. atsec staff will develop a system to be named the Public Kidding Infrastructure (PKI), which will be based upon defining the roles, policies and procedures needed to help recipients of news determine the integrity index of the news that they are subject to. Information sources will be identified and authorized as part of a trust relationship. In particular, atsec staff will consider the use of blockchain based kidding.
  3. atsec proposes and requests support from all atsec associates in defining an internationally agreed fake-news emoji that can be implemented on a wide variety of platforms. As an interim measure, atsec propose the use of Emoji U+1F925 be reserved for this context: 


Breaking News: April 1st, 2017......

🤥 **** With immediate effect, any national scheme reports for Common Criteria evaluations above EAL2 will be distributed via WikiLeaks no later than two years after their submission for validation. ****

🤥 **** The successor to FIPS 140-2 will be published in 2017. To avoid conflict with previous drafts, this version will be known as FIPS 140-jalapeño ****

🤥 **** A new Global Protection Profile is being written. This PP will aim to satisfy the needs of security assurance consumers all around the world, and will address all information technologies. Volunteers from the CC community are solicited to serve on the associated technical community are invited to contribute their knowledge and skills in this endeavor ****

🤥 **** A new cPP will be published soon ****


  1. Fun fact: They already tried to make a global protection profile many years ago, but it was so huge they had to split into three parts, plus an incomprehensible operating manual. If you're interested in reading through it, though, they keep it here for historical reasons:

    Oddly enough, this fun fact *isn't* fake news.

    1. And guess who is volunteering for the new version?

    2. hi Fiona, am trying to reach someone/anyone at your coy for some training requirements - the seems to be a blackhole. Is there anyone specific i can email to ?

    3. Michael, That address is far from a black hole. I am following up with you privately.


Comments are moderated with the goal of reducing spam. This means that there may be a delay before your comment shows up.